Saturday, September 5, 2015

What a Suck, Suck, Sucki-ity Day

  I wrote this two nights ago, and when I finished I realized the internet was out. Go figure. It had been a particularly stressful/depressing day, and I sat up late making myself write. I knew I needed to get started again, and this was as good a topic as any. It was definitely something important for me. I've been trying to do so much lately, and trying to figure out how to squeeze even more in. But's the dish from the other night. I'm sure all of you have had days like this one. 


So...I just finished half a tray of cookies. I think this is a good enough reason to finally do another post. Finally understood the comfort of an outrageous amount of soft-baked chocolate chip cookies and a cup of milk.

  What added up to a cup of milk and cookies? Everyone at my second job losing their job, me losing my promotion, having a sucky day of hauling ass after everyone else at my first job, and using my late lunch to help out at my second job for when we had a final closing. Only it took longer and I had to get back to work at the first job and it was too late in the end afterward to join the others at the second.

  That's a mouthful. Good grief. Probably didn't make sense. And what a sucky post! But hey, we all have our days when we'd just really love to set a fire and then do a goblin dance around the flames. Well perhaps only us nerdists would understand that particular desire. But it made me think today, that's for sure. I'm usually the "always happy and taking care of all the customers person" and today I was off my game, bitter and tired. A weird contrast, but made me realize how much I'd gotten away from doing things that made me happy in general. My days consist of working, biking to and from work, and when I'm home I'm usually too tired (plus a tiny bit lazy) to do anything except have dinner and watch a bit of tv before bed.

  I was thinking about that the other day...and I was like, "Oh no! I'm becoming one of them! A HOUSE VEGETABLE!" I seriously haven't been doing major writing, blogging, (obviously) reading not as much...I'm barely doing anything. Let alone studying. How do you get anywhere?

  Well. I did reach one decision. It's hardly realistic to expect myself to be able to save up entirely for film school. I definitely need to look into other options. I need to find a way. I need to get going, and spinning my wheels isn't going to get me anywhere. Losing my promotion just made my hunger and determination to step up that much keener.

  However I get there, I seriously need to find a way to get out of second gear and bust into first. I'm sick of the slogging. If I'm going to be slogging, I want to be slogging at the best job/day that I can have--the one I've made for myself.

  And I promise that I'll get back into writing. Just got to keep having the courage to work, and hope.


1 comment:

  1. Gosh, I'm sorry that happened. I hope things start turning up again. I know that engaging with writing often helps me to clear my thoughts and focus.


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