Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Listen To My Dreams: They Make Me, or Kill Me

dream quote pic tolkien

  Valleys are an undeniable part of life, and there's no mercy either when it comes to one's creative process. That inner, sacred stream is ever vulnerable. It can take a dive at any moment--going full steam ahead then crashing down. You find that it just hit a barricade.

   I have too many valleys--but then I would say that. Any writer would say that. But what I find so invaluable is that the work of others can co easily re-inspire me--fill that part that just needs some fresh air again, stir that creative soup with a strong hand, so the good things don't just settle to the bottom.

 (You know...I think this is the first time I seriously used a cooking metaphor...hmm. I've obviously been having food on my mind. What I need right now is more food for thought).

  What shows, movies, books--what so moves us? What about them, even with their vices and irritating problems either in style or lack of it--(just insert your own pet peeve, there are many)--can touch us so easily, make us smile again when just a few minutes before we were feeling like the world was incredibly dull and moving on without us? I find that so amazing--the power to make someone believe what is transpiring, to transport them in that moment, in that moment of cinema or swiftly read paragraph; that power is so potent, and perhaps, a reflection on the greatest gift one can have. To make another believe in something more than what they experience, or perceive. Help them see things through a slightly different lens. Help them to even dream.

What do you dream? 

  My dream is to be able to touch people, to INSPIRE them. Through the vast, limitless possibilities of the moving picture, and the words splayed like bled thoughts to show how much they were real. I want not to just transport them, not just entertain them--really, truly, inspire them. That deepest touch, transmitted like the embrace of the closest friend, or the keen lance of enlightenment, can change the world. The world is what and who we are, every individual; we are the masters. We are the movers. I want to be someone who makes people realize that. I want to provide a my own, unique set of lens. I want to see what truth I can share--not only how it changes people, but how it changes me.

  I talk all the time about how much I want to travel to other places, to see things, learn from people, to get to know what it means to live next to their own neighbors, to see how their culture has shaped them. I dream of finally getting enough money together to attend a film school. I dream of publishing another book, and actually hearing back from someone that they were so touched by it, and that it made them laugh.

  I often wonder when on earth I'll ever be able to do that. I struggle so much in just bringing together the most meager necessity in making that possible. Often, it's hard to keep faith. 

  Sometimes I think it's those that want to inspire others that need to be inspired most. 

  It is so hard, to have a dream, and seeing the years tick by like your life just wants to keep moving on, but leaving you and what you're fighting for behind, in a heap of breathless labor and endeavors. A pile of shards of what might have been. Is the evidence of a true dream the evidence of something relentlessly defended when nothing shows that it will ever come to fruition? Will my dream always be just that--something that just sustains me...but might not come true?

  I think a dream is a dangerous thing.

  I think a real dream has the power to keep us alive in the way we need most, but it also has the power to destroy us, when we realize that failure and long years are closing in. So many have had life dump on them, despite everything they did to fight for what they desired. But unlike some people, I don't see a reason to quit--I see a reason to keep on, because I have no reason to try any less than them. And dreams have to come true once in a while at least, to keep hope burning for the masses, the belief that things are endlessly possible. Anything worthwhile must also have the possibility of being lost.

  I'm writing this at a time of no promise. I have no indication of success, or that things will turn around. Just a wild, passionate, belief of pure love that my dream is worth it, and if I succeed, it will be worth it to others. I'm the laborer with holes in their pockets but many blessings still backing them, and a belief if they keep working, and keep walking, things will be better in the next town over.

  I'm not sure what I set out to do, when I sat down to write this. I was just watching a recap of one of my favorite shows, but that recap, that look into life as they represented it, really gave me the breath of fresh air that I needed. I'm not sure exactly what you might take from this, but I hope I did some good, and that I spoke true. 

          Miss Cocoa Latte

P.S. Soon I'll be posting an update about Candace from The Great Affair! Don't miss out on that! She has just spent the last couple months living in a yurt, and it has been so much fun to learn of her life there. Life comes and goes, and she headed for something new.

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